Yes, I know. Austin Powers may be so last century, but even before he got frozen, defrosted to defeat Doctor Evil (three times) and get the girl (three times again), there was an indisputable truth that affected all bikers. And still does.

Motorcycle horns, as fitted by the manufacturer, are almost universally rubbish.

Picture the scene. You're there, on your latest big, bad bike. You've got the kit. You've got the presence. You look pretty bloody good, and you know it. You're bimbling along, minding your own business when someone, presumably dazzled by your magnificence, fails to see you and starts to pull out. Obviously you, being the switched on steely-eyed master (or mistress, let's not discriminate) that you are immediately hit the horn to give, as the Highway Code says, an "Audible warning of approach."

As the pathetic "Meep" issues from somewhere below your tank you are reminded of Maggie amusing herself in the opening credits of The Simpsons and find yourself wondering which is worse - the impending pain of the collision or the sheer embarassment caused by the noise you've made.

No wonder so many resort to revving their engines instead of pressing that button. It's a joke.

Now to be fair, modern bikes are generally a marvel of compact packaging, and that means there isn't necessarily a lot of space for a horn. Because loud horns are pretty sizeable, right?

Err... no.

Denali are generally known for super bright, super reliable and quite pricey auxiliary lights. In fairness, you get what you pay for and they are very well made. Happily we can say the same about their horns.

The full fat Soundbomb is a bit of a monster. Great if you have a Goldwing or a big cruiser, not so much if you have a sportsbike. Enter the Soundbomb Mini. It's just over 80mm in every direction (including from the end of the mounting screw to the front), it doesn't need a relay, uses the same mountings and connections as a standard horn and weighs virtualy nothing. It took me less than five minutes to fit and didn't need anything else doing.

It looks good, though in truth most of the time you'd not notice it anyway.

And it's loud. I mean proper loud.

Now I'm not picking on Triumph. Indeed, read the review of my new long term test bike and you'll see just how much I love it. But. The horn they fitted produced less than the 92db(A) that the standard exhaust makes. It literally did nothing except comply with the law. It may well be that this is perfectly normal. I've never noise tested a horn before. But regardless, it's shameful.

The Soundbomb Mini, using the same meter at the same range, driven by the same battery produced... 112db(A).

Science bit. Decibels are a logrtihmic measurement rather than a linear one. That means an increase of 3db(A) is double the noise, and an increase of 10db(A) is ten times the volume. So a 20db(A) increase is one heck of a lot louder.

It didn't actually hurt.

But my word it's noticeable.

It's also a much deeper tone, which seems to command attention more than the high-pitched patheticness.

And the best thing? You can get one of these things online for less than £40, delivered to your door (mainland UK).

That's a lot cheaper than your insurance excess will be after that crash. Or buying a dark visor to hide your embarassment.

SB